There is something to be said of the inability to sleep.

At first, it is irritating. You toss and turn in the dark, tangling sheets, becoming aware of the quiet shuffling of the night–the tick of the clock, the sound of cars passing in the distance. You try teas, and herbal supplements; chamomile, Valerian root. You try over-the-counter sleep aids: tiny blue pills that do little more than suppress the headache that has been slowly, but constantly, building in your brain. You cut caffeine out of your diet, try to relieve stress, exercise. You might even take prescription sleep aids, only to find that the one night you refrain, you cannot sleep. You try all of these remedies, all for five hours a sleep a night, if you’re lucky.

Eventually, you give in to the lull of prescriptions, letting the tiny white pill become a nightly routine after brushing your teeth and setting your alarm clock. You get used to bizarre blurriness of the waking world, the fog that settles on your brain, and never quite leaves.

Or you don’t. Maybe you decide to stay awake. What’s the worst that could happen? A Fight Club-esqu break in your psyche?

I tried all the remedies, none of which was very effective. I still have a full prescription of sleeping pills hiding out in my vanity drawer, and maybe someday I’ll act responsibly, and take them again.

Maybe not.

For now, though, those 18 to 20 hours that I am usually awake (sometimes more, but those days are less common, and more disconcerting) I decided to utilize. I crochet, mostly. Stuffed animals, blankets, hats…sometimes other things, and rarely with a pattern, or a purpose. When I’m not crocheting, I read, bake or cook, and write. I’m almost always online.

At the next available chance, I will post all the things I’ve made thus far (and still have) to give an example. I will post recipes, and patterns (if I have one.)

There’s something to be said of the inability to sleep. At least, something useful (and occasionally yummy, or adorable) can be made of it.


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